I had no exit strategy for separation and divorce from Queen Linda
In early October of 1973 I asked the Queen Linda just why some of the bills had not been paid for over 90 days. Actually I tossed the opened bills on the kitchen table in front of her and asked her what was the meaning of this and she replied with, “Do you want a divorce?” She had made excuses at 30 and 60 days overdue….
This was the defining moment, the denouement, of years of utter bullshit in our marriage. The warning signs were there. It all cumulated with her statement which triggered the details to all fall into place that she was planning on leaving me anyway. There were 2 important facts here: her squirreling away the family money and her having a boyfriend. The handwriting was on the wall and I got really angry really fast and knew that I could not live with her any more; I had put up before with her goading and snarky comments so it was better to run from her.
My biggest mistake and regret was not taking better care of my 2 sons. I panicked about the bills and struggled to pay them, find a place for me to live that I could afford, and get my mental well-being taken care of. I should have made certain that they were taken care of financially. I should have hired a lawyer, ignored the bills, ignored her bullshit, and negotiated good visitation and reasonable child support: for not doing this I apologize to my children.
Remember that in the trailer park where we lived was a lot of trailer trash. What else to call welfare moms who knew how to play the welfare game by getting knocked up by several different men so that it would increase the welfare and child support payout?
If a woman has 1 child by a man she gets about 25% of his gross income; 2 kids only bumps that to about 28%. So it is more rewarding for the woman to get knocked up by multiple men to increase the amount of child support. Suppose a man makes $1,000 a month gross; she gets $250 for 1 kid and $280 for 2. But if she has kids from 2 men, each making a gross of $1,000 a month then her net is $250 + $250 == $500 a month or $220 more. So, yeah, the women know how to game the system.
With my income at the time of the separation then she would have gotten $250 to $280 a month for both kids. If the court looked at the second quarter income for me then that would have been pushed to over $400 which would have been half my take home income at the time of the divorce. The American justice system is often not fair at all and NEVER trust the courts, judges or cops.
My biggest blunder was to not ignore the bills and use the money to hire a lawyer. A good lawyer to fight for me. Consequently our divorce agreement sucks. She asked me how much alimony I was going to pay her. That is how she worded it—like a demand for alimony. That is when I told her I knew about her bartender boyfriend and since he was screwing her then he could support her. Oooh, she was pissed.
Then she asked me how much child support I was going to pay. I had no information as to the legal requirements nor any experience to go on as to handle this question. I was completely blindsided by the question. Without thinking about it I said $50 and mentally that was per child. She ran back to her lawyer who was a piss-poor excuse for a lawyer and essentially worked pro bono for women clients. I will publish later the complete divorce document online. Anyway her lawyer put down $50 for both kids but there was one glaring issue that I should have challenged on: there was NO ending date for when the child support should stop so, technically, I should be paying $50 a month even today more than 50 years later.
I should have called a timeout on all of this and sought legal help no matter what it cost. It is very likely that the lawyer would have suggested not paying the overdue bills so that I could take care of my sons. Then I should have paid the suggested support of about $280.
But wait, there is more to the story. I was not a total asshole. I told the Queen Linda that she could have the mobile home on Elizabeth Street, Pueblo, Colorado, so long as she made the $100 a month payment; I asked for NO consideration for the equity in it. The space rent was $60 and that covered the natural gas bill. Electricity was $15-20 a month. She and her boyfriend could not live much cheaper than that at less than $200 a month. I knew about the boyfriend and I could have been vindictive and told her to go back to her parents in Montana (we were in Pueblo, Colorado) which would have separated her from her boyfriend; the mobile home would have been sold. We also had purchased a ‘72 Oldsmobile Cutlass and payment was $100 a month with some equity in it; I let her have it and I kept my Sunbeam Alpine and Sunbeam Arrow station wagon, total value of $1000 but paid off.
Now comes the bullshit part: welfare. Yep, her trailer trash girl friends told her how to apply for and get welfare to get the child support increased with no other changes in the divorce agreement. Did I mention the crappy visitation that I ended up with because I did not know any better and signed the bullshit agreement? Imagine 48 hour notice and a day a week, maybe. No provisions for Christmas, vacations, and so on. This is what happened when mentally I was devastated.
End of November she asked me to ‘loan’ her a gasoline credit card, all of which she had not paid for over 90 days and I was attempting to get them paid off. Oh, she promised to pay the bill. Yeah, right. What I did not know was that the next week just after Thanksgiving she was planning on going to Montana for a month; she told me this at 9 p.m. and there was NO way for me to get any gifts for my sons to take with her.
Then, with a smirk on her face (when she was screwing someone over) she told me that when she got back in January (divorce final January 6, 1974) then she was going to apply for welfare and I would be hit with at least $285 a month in child support. Remember the 28% rule for 2 kids? That was the first time she tried the welfare dodge; later I will post details on the second one in Montana.
Long story short I called her welfare case worker; I informed him of her employment under the table at the Caravan In honky-tonk at the end of the street where she worked for cash tips; he called her in to his office where he told her she was being penalized for 6 months for lying on her application; she nearly went to jail over the fraud; and she tells everyone today that I had her KICKED off welfare. Girl, had you not lied then you would have gotten the welfare because your income was so low as to make no difference; the Queen Linda cannot help herself and just loves to lie to get what she wants. BTW, during her visit to the welfare department I was enjoying female companionship and the sister worked at the welfare office, her desk was next to the Queen Linda’s case worker’s office, his door was open, and she heard the whole exchange because the Queen Linda becomes shrill when she is not getting her own way.
So this is just one snip of the total Queen Linda saga. I am putting all of these stories together and will print a book to give my sons, her, her family, her friends, her neighbors. Will it make any difference? Nope. Will it make me feel better? Oh, hell, yeah.